* yes, you!
We believe in you
We know you can do it
We know that all you have to do is put one foot in front of the other
We know that underneath all the yuck, you believe too
We know that all these new ideas are very exciting for you
We know you're having a hard time keeping focused on the task at hand, but know the time will come
We know that it all seems larger than life
We know that you might be getting overwhelmed
We know that you might waver in the wind
But know that we are here for you, we believe in you, just like you believe in yourself *
what if i went to bed tonight and slept the whole way through
what if i didn't still feel hungry
what if i woke up tomorrow refreshed
what if i got my camera out and started shooting
what if i wrote in my journal tonight and discovered what was there
what if i took a different way tomorrow
what if i did something off the charts
what if i just did it and didn't think ....
what if i didn't fear this, that and the other
what if......
**inspired by staci at bella wish
sitting alone at the computer
p sleeping
t and k are out
me here alone
feeling terrible, shame and utter failure
for yelling at K this morning and telling her to "shut up"
yes, i felt terrible
yes, i felt anger at her and then myself
not enough sleep, abruptly awaken
yes, they are excuses that don't matter
some days are just shit and i feel terrible
the rain and winds blow outside the window
the grey skies outdoors open up the grey sky inside
the chance to stay in and get the numerous "to do's" checked off the list
the chance to make the phone calls
the chance to watch the movie
the chance to rest
the chance ....
but instead i sit down at the computer with snuggly socks, yoga pants, sweatshirt, hair under a warm hat and just roam...
a movie on in the background, one child resting, the other reading and half watching a movie, the boy playing around with gadgets and me...roaming...
not a day to get anything checked off the lists
not today..
we all celebrated Penelope this past weekend along with celebrating ourselves ~ we survived the first year.
she is a breath of fresh air
a goofy, silly child
her smile lights up my world on a daily basis
for as hard as this past year has been, it's also been one of my brightest
happy birthday sweet p!
ever since getting tagged on facebook to write 25 random thoughts about myself I've become obsessed. through out the day i can't help but think of all the random things about myself I didn't get to write...weird, i know..
i just can't help myself..
so here we go...more random thoughts...
~ i never change the toilet paper roll, my husband does it
~i sleep diagonal
~my daughter is named after the musician Joshua Kadison; his song "Jesse" was a favorite of Tim and I's when we first met
~i moved to San Franciso mostly because of SARK
~i'm always on time or early, hardly ever late... I hate being late, walking in late to a place makes me nauseous
~i can't remember the last time i cried
~i get mad before i get sad
~i used to go "deer hunting" with my dad just so i could hang out with the "guys" in a cabin, but sitting out in the bitter cold wasn't my idea of fun.
~i always wanted a mentor or someone who would take me under their wing
~when i was 12 i flipped over my bike and broke my front tooth and messed up my face/nose pretty bad
~the coolest and worst job i ever had was working for an airline
~i'm afraid of water but also love it
~the beach and the sound of waves bring me instant peace
~i've always been one to write more than talk
~i often think about if one moment in my life was different where would i be now..
~i could sit and talk with girl friends for hours and days, i never get tired of it
~i'm so curious about people and their lives, not nosey, curious..there is a difference
~i would love to write a book someday
~i would love to be a mentor to a young girl some day
~i dream big and i'm just starting to really believe they are actually possible
....enough for now....
xo