Stefanie and I'm a internet - junkie
Yes, any chance I get I'm checking my various emails, facebook, flickr, everyone else's blogs and mine.
I'm addicted to this.
I need to take a break, I need to stop for awhile and see if I can come back and not be so frantic or neurotic:)
I'm missing the real connection I get from the voice on the other end of the phone or in person. I miss the connection I feel when I give or get a hug. I miss the connection of just "seeing" another person.
Don't get me wrong, I've made some amazing connections on the World Wide Web and I wouldn't take them back for anything but I'm missing the point, I'm missing out on my life. I'm not really living. I'm going through the motions and I now I see it for what it really is.....
I can't live through everyone else's life, I need to start living mine and telling my stories.
So here I go..... you should finally be getting those phone calls I owe you. You know who you are ****
peace out
i've been reading a lot of chatter out here in blog land about what we're all doing here. I've been asking myself that same question for quite a long time now. I of course don't post as much, I don't really have much to say on most days and I wonder why. Yes, it could be because I have 2 kids and work full time. Yes, it could be that I have so much to say and just don't know HOW to say it. Yes, it could be that what I do have to say I'm not sure how it will be received and should I really care about that?
All these questions are valid and I still wonder why, when and what. What's my reasoning? I have made some amazing connections through this little place I call home and I've longed to make more and to really contribute in some meaningful way. My problem is time and energy.
I've been struggling with my identity ever since Kadison was born and how this blog should look. Should it be like it was BEFORE K or should it be more mommy focused and how do either of them look?? Well I've had my second daughter and still asking those questions and also a ton more. My mind is always a constant race of questions about my job, my parenting, my skills as a wife, mom, sister, friend and all the other constant worries.
I guess what I'm trying to spit out here is that I'm still not sure but I do know I'm not ready to give this up. I do know that honesty will prevail and that being honest here and opening up in ways that I haven't before might be the key.
I think I may even try the blogging for 30 days starting Novemeber 1st. Who knows....maybe I'll get some questions answered along the way.
if we can all just take a moment ...and look around
look around at the magical beauty you are surrounded by
on a daily basis
if we can all just do this once a day (or more!) and remember
we are all blessed
today in my moment:
- my desk is cleared off
- penelope is napping
- the sun is shining and the windows are open with the faintest breeze coming through
- i'm off work today
- i smell jasmine
- kids laughter outside
- the kiss on my cheek he gives
happy friday everyone!
photo by kadison
one of those days where you wake up late and instead of jumping out of bed and rushing around you just meander to the shower
one of those days where you can't seem to choose something to wear and you try on a few things, taking everyone of them off and then deciding to wear the first thing you put on
one of those days where you pour the orange juice in the cereal bowl and the milk in the glass
one of those days where you get interupted and only put mascara on one eye
one of those days where the hair just doesn't do what it's cut to do so you try to look for a funky hat but only find your husbands "vikings" football cap; that clearly won't help
one of those days where you're late and hoping the traffic won't be bad and it actually isn't
one of those days where you flip through all the channels on the radio to find nothing but static
one of those days where you remember that your ipod is actually in your purse, but you don't have the ear buds
one of those days where you stop to get a chai but realize you have no cash and your daughter went through your wallet and you don't seem to have any credit cards inside
one of those days where you check your email and you find this lovely poem inside and smile (thank you christine)
Autobiographia
by G.E. Patterson
I had everything and luck: Rings of smoke
blown for me; sunlight safe inside the leaves
of cottonwoods; pure, simple harmonies
of church music, echoes of slave songs; scraps
of candy wrappers — airborne. Everything.
Mother and father, brother, aunts, uncles;
chores and schoolwork and playtime. Everything.
I was given gloves against winter cold.
I was made to wear gloves when I gardened.
I was made to garden; taught to hold forks
in my left hand when cutting, in my right
when bringing food to my mouth. Everything.
I had clothes I was told not to wear outside;
a face you could clean up almost handsome;
I had friends to fight with and secrets, spread
all over the neighborhood; the best teachers,
white and colored. I’m not making this up.
I knew that I had everything. Still do.
some photos from my friend Tina's wedding weekend ~
