go away and come back next year!
it's been raining so much this month I'm ready to say goodbye to March
and HELLO Miss. April.
There was a bit of a blue sky peeking out the other day that I got a
glimpse of but no where near what I want to see.
April will bring Kadison's 1st Birthday
My anniversary of giving birth to such a beautiful girl
A party that will consist of both of our families flying out here for
the special occassion
A trip to Hawaii to relax and enjoy our own small family
A trip to Hawaii to enjoy the sun, the beaches and the salty air
A trip to Hawaii that will rejuvinate me and give me a new perspective
on the rest of the year
You see I need these little lights at the end of the tunnel to get me
through to the next one, my life is full of these lights and once I'm
back from Hawaii I'll be planning the next because that's what I do.
Sitting in the sand, legs wrapped around her
I look down and see her little hands with fingernails all dirty
her exploring for the first time what sand is and how it feels
i think for that small moment how it must be to see the world, the
sand, the leaves and twigs that are stuck throughout the sand box, how
it must be to see the world through such innocent eyes.
She placed her hand on my heart, between
my breasts and said, "There is a sad eye here
though the architecture of the mind is wondrous."
~
Never stop opening
your house to strangers
~
Don't stop moving your hand to your heart
~
Say "Yes!"
~
You never know what the stranger has to give
~
excerpts from The Strange Guest
A poem by Joan Logghe
THOUGHTS FOR 2006
1. Visualize a perfect year
2. Simplify what you do
3. Say no to obligations and commitments you are not passionate about
4. Raise your standards
5. Practice extreme self care
6. Forgive
7. Practice Patience and Tolerance
8. Express Gratitude
9. Give back to your community friends and family
and I add my own #10
10. Accept what other people have to offer
Accepting is just as important as giving.
Happy 11 months baby girl ~
You are moving and grooving all around and sometimes it's hard to keep
up! You are crawling all over the house and you've been taking a few
steps along the way too. Today you actually walked the furthest ever. You are so fun to watch; and we're so proud of you.
Your favorite foods right now are grapes and cheese and can not get enough of them! hey, your mom is from Wisconsin :)
Your favorite book is "5 Little Ladybugs" - we love to count them and say all the colors. My favorite is still "Jamberry".
You still have crazy hair but your Daddy doesn't want to cut it so we're experimenting with clips, ponytails and piggie tails. You're usually pretty cooperative when I do your hair, but other times it's hard to catch you!
One of your favorite things to do is roll around in your blanket, kick your legs in the air and suck your thumb...we thought it meant you were tired but I don't think so...you seem to do it all the time.
You're finally getting your first tooth and I think the 2nd one is close behind. We'll miss your little gummy smile.
Cute hair clip by GiddyGiddy! Love them!!!
Your favorite game to play is still "peek a boo" and sometime we think it's Daddy's favorite too. If we ever want you to giggle to no end we just step behind a door and peek out...it gets you every time!
You love to wave to your shadow and say HI! You crack me up.
We're gearing up for your Big 1 year Birthday; the whole darn family is
coming out for it and it's going to be a celebration for YOU. Gramma
and Grampa's, aunts and uncles and all your cousins! It's going to be
quite a party my baby girl. After that we'll have just enough time to
recover before we head off to Hawaii where we will bask in the sun and
sand and try to relax!
Happy 11 months Kadison - we love you sweet cheeks
~ mama
It is possible that things will not get better
than they are now, or have been known to be.
It is possible that we are past the middle now.
It is possible that we have crossed the great water
without knowing it, and stand now on the other side.
Yes: I think we have crossed it.
Now we are being given tickets, and they are not
tickets to the show we had been thinking of,
but to a different show, clearly inferior.
Check again: it is our own name on the envelope.
The tickets are to that other show.
It is possible that we will walk out of the darkened hall
without waiting for the last act: people do.
Some people do. But it is probable
that we will stay seated in our narrow seats
all through the tedious dénouement
to the unsurprising end - riveted, as it were;
spellbound by our own imperfect lives
because they are lives, and because they are ours.
~ "Riveted" by Robyn Sarah
this is a sketch watercolor doodle that I did a few years ago at a watercolor journal workshop ~ I've always liked it and I just came across it tonight and thought....why not scan it and put it on my blog.
Mix it up a bit.
I've felt stagnet over the past few months and it's time to mix things up a bit, try different things, open up a bit more to other things I've done.
I don't like the writing I did but I do like the sun flowers; I don't like how I said "H20" - weird! Oh well, nothing is perfect.
I made a list today of reasons why I get up in the morning; it's been really hard to get up this week for some reason:
- to see the blue sky and the awesome clouds that have been gracing our skies here lately
- to see Kadison's beautiful face in the morning peeking through her crib
- Chai
- to wear my favorite red mary janes
- to roll over and see Tim next to me (kinda a reason to stay in bed, no?)
- to find new things to learn, to see and to experience life as much as I can
- 1 day closer to going on vacation to Hawaii
- orange juice and oatmeal with fresh blueberries
I've been inspirted by Keri to just write; I don't really have anything in particular to write about but I do feel like writing. In class tonight I left so "seen" and that the inner self can really be seen by others.
That there is beauty in me, that I don't see, and I'm very surprised that others can. It's a self hate thing I think that makes me, us, not see the good in ourselves.
Why is that?
Why do we need others to validate us?
They pointed things out in my wild write/poem that even I didn't know but what they said, I really got, I got me. It felt wonderful actually.
I walked home watching the stars peek out from under the fast moving clouds and thought "wow, I really do have something to say", and people are willing to listen, read and appreciate it, appreciate me. It feels good.
I don't need to keep fighting myself, just noticing myself is a step.
This is a little something that was inspired by a poem ~
"Everything at it's core is Pure" by Alison Luterman
All Pure
The cold winds brush my face frozen
The thoughts of living here once but no more
The car pulls up and I get in
All Pure.
The dog whose nose is wet on my face
The bark, the muddy paws
All Pure.
The looks, the glances, the words not spoken but heard
All Pure.
And I am, just as I am
Freedom, dreams, wanting, yearning for that
freedom to run away
Jump on the next flight to Italy
with her
Away
Could I? I wonder
Could I really? Yes, I think I could
And all the thoughts that follow
All Pure.
To wake up as the journalist who photographs around the world
A flat in Paris
A man in Italy
Or the Hippie who lives in her van at the beach who paints her dreams
Pure desire
As pure as my mind and hand that writes this
As pure as the music blasting in my ears
As pure as the crazy imaginings that flow through my heart
All Pure.
