Out with the Old and In with the New...
I look back at this year and I think of everything that has happened,
the excitement, the sadness, things learned, people I've met, people
that have come and gone and the ones that are here to stay.
Starting this on line journal/photoblog has been one of the most
rewarding things I've ever done. Meeting new people and creating new
friendships has left me with great happiness and finding people who
really "get" me. The online world is one of it's own.
Enjoying the writing class I take with Laurie Wagner and the wonderful,
beautiful women who share their truths with me on a weekly basis has
given to me so much more than I would of ever imagined. I have truly
grown in their presence.
Creating this "little" being with Tim and knowing we will be parents
soon has been the most exciting and the most terrifying experience to
anticipate; but we're ready for it. As much as we'll ever be:) 2005
is going to bring many new experiences and I'm sure many happy moments.
Going into the New Year I'm coming up with new lists of things I want
to do, places I want to go, experiences I want to have and people I
want to meet. I try not to call them "resolutions" because I never end
up doing them when I call them that. I set myself up for the fall
every year, so this year will be like Andrea calls it...making a list
of intentions. Intentions to do all the things I inspire to do this
year and beyond...
Happy Holidays to everyone and a Very HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm headed to Florida to be with family so I'll be talking to you in
the New Year....
some tid bits from the weekend that I thought were worth mentionin...
-chocolate covered strawberries
-the union square christmas tree lit up at night
-all the shoppers downtown
-the massage that I never wanted to end
-laying in a white terry cloth robe on a chaise lounge, watching the sun go down
-sipping cucumber water
-walking at night seeing all the holiday lights twinkle
-finally feeling the holiday spirit
-getting the window seat at the pizza joint
-a chocolate shake
-our room at the St. Francis
-birthday moments with Tim
-celebrity sighting in front of Borders "Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson"!!!!!!!!!
-decaf chai
-waiting in line at Mama's seeing the woman in her pink bath robe and white hi-heels
-the man standing behind me on the phone talking about how the mission is an unsafe place to live, and totally eaves dropping on his conversation...how could I not???
-spending time with Mati - our funny, honest conversations
-yummmy Mama's breakfast
-walks through china town
-fun stationary
-funky fashion shops
-ending at City Lights Bookstore- the perfect ending to a great weekend
Wishing Tim a fabulous day full of wishes come true~
The wonderful, sweet, kind, compassionate, hilarious, talented,
beautiful man I love so dearly.
My best friend, my husband, my love..
Happy Birthday!
it's 3am and i'm up
this may not be odd for some people but for me it's very odd and a little frustrating
i usually am a very deep sleeper and hardly ever wake up in the middle of the night
but oh no, not tonight...
here i am ...up!
i'm trying to read into it and find the hidden meaning of why i'm up
but i can't figure it out
is there something i should be doing?
is there something i should be thinking about?
or
should i just be in bed dreaming away and not be up?!!
especially since i have a big day and night ahead of me...
this is me ...3am ...and babbling
hoping you're all in bed sleeping and enjoying your dreams!
Stop just for a moment
Listen.
Watch.
Feel.
Are you being present RIGHT NOW?
This time of year is the time when you really need to stop yourself ...
Make sure you're being present (not just buying presents) but being present in the moment.
Relax.
Breathe.
Really think about what you're doing and why....
Breathe.
Do something for you - at this very moment.
Your money is not your Life!
It just seems that way sometimes.
True Wealth is inside of YOU.
~SARK
This week's Photo Friday challenge is "Abandoned"
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I just love Rob's homework...
What non-material object would you most like to receive as a gift
this holiday season?
I'm still thinking but I think high on the list would be ...
~being given the permission to stay in bed all day, any day I wanted...
An Offering
Here are my bones.
Pierced by a beam of light, I have been made
Transparent, a map of fragments
That touch but don’t connect.
Afloat on black film my feet are
Weird galaxies in distant space,
Strange and utterly familiar,
The toes calm, focused, except for
The stubborn fourth ones which
Curve and twist as if wanting to turn themselves
Over, be seen from underneath.
That’s the point: to expose,
Turn inside out, reveal
Every broken place, fissure, crack.
Can you see? I am trying to show you
Where the semi-permeable membranes
Have allowed the passage of heat, fluid,
Breath, mistakes. This is not about flesh,
About the curving instep of something
You can hold in your hands:
These are the stories of my life,
Luminous pieces of my secret architecture,
The puzzle spilled from the box.
—Elizabeth Rosner
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The new issue of BEREALMAG is up!!!!! - our favorite Arist Andrea is featured and you just might find one of my poems as well.
Enjoy!
elephant tree
A poem that was recently read to me:
So Much Happiness
It is difficult to know what to do with so much happiness.
With sadness there is something to rub against,
A wound to tend with lotion and cloth.
When the world falls in around you, you have pieces to
Pick up,
Something to hold in your hands, like ticket stubs
Or change.
But happiness floats.
It doesn’t need you to hold it down.
It doesn’t need anything.
Happiness lands on the roof of the next house, singing,
And disappears when it wants to.
You are happy either way.
Even the fact that you once lived in a peaceful treehouse
And now live over a quarry of noise and dust
Cannot make you unhappy.
Everything has a life of its own,
It too could wake up filled with possibilities
Of coffee cake and ripe peaches,
And love even the floor which needs to be swept.
The soiled linens and scratched records…
Since there is no place large enough
To contain so much happiness,
You shrug, raise your hands, and it flows out of you
Into everything you touch. You are not responsible.
You take no credit, as the night takes no credit
For the moon, but continues to hold it, and share it,
And in that way, be known.
—Naomi Shihab Nye
Please open yourself, open up
Let people know you,
Expose yourself, fully, wholly
Bring people in knowing they want to know the ins and outs of your architecture
Open up, Spill, Spill open the caverns of your soul
Know you are loved, loved by all
They see you, they see your beauty
Your effervesence
They want to know you, they're curious
Reveal who you are
Reveal that you love to dance and sing, that you make up songs, that you can dance at a moments notice.
Let them in to your laughter, your deep self
Let them in to your tears
Let them know that you cry at movies that are truly sappy
But that you feel that sometimes you feel more for those people on screen than for the people around you
Your tears run, run for the unknown
Be open, don't be shy
Let yourself be vulnerable
That's what they want, they want to see those places, know you small and big
Tell them that yes you snack, snack for hours when you know you shouldn't
That you obsess over your looks, your waist, your self
That you compare
You know they do too
You are not alone
They can see the surface, they want to dig in to your soil, your soul
Let them know that you love to take moonlight walks but that darkness also scares you
You are afraid most of the time, of the unknown
But tell them
They'll hold your hand
Make you feel safe
Tell them you love to watch the sunrise and sunset and the clean crisp air on your face
They'll enjoy that
Open yourself, reveal
Tell them how you love convertables and the wind in your hair, how you wish you could drive away and never look back
They'd understand
They would, because they feel that too
It's not impossible
Tell them how you're shy and afraid to talk to people, you're not good at "small talk" - but who says?
They'll make you feel comfortable
They will
They'll be gentle and willing to watch over you
Believe
Believe you're not alone
Tell them the dark, dark parts
Parts you can't tell yourself, for fear, fear of what?
Them knowing you or you knowing yourself?
Be gentle, be open, expose.
Let others in - they'll take care of you
Tell them how you used to be a sort of exhibitionist, how you liked to be naked, exposed
You were once wild, you had that side, you did weird, funky, fun things.
Along the way - you opened yourself up to the experience of life
What happened?
What changed?
Know that they'll understand
They won't judge you - they did those things too
They experienced life and still are
Life is meant to be lived, fully, openly
You were taught to be quiet, keep to yourself, but I'm telling you they were wrong!
Don't be quiet - yell, scream, be heard
Let them hear your story
The story of you - the story only you can tell
Expose your soul
Your architecture
Yourself
Be bold, be unafraid
Reveal YOU.