self exam

i've been reading a lot of chatter out here in blog land about what we're all doing here. I've been asking myself that same question for quite a long time now. I of course don't post as much, I don't really have much to say on most days and I wonder why. Yes, it could be because I have 2 kids and work full time. Yes, it could be that I have so much to say and just don't know HOW to say it. Yes, it could be that what I do have to say I'm not sure how it will be received and should I really care about that?

All these questions are valid and I still wonder why, when and what. What's my reasoning? I have made some amazing connections through this little place I call home and I've longed to make more and to really contribute in some meaningful way. My problem is time and energy.

I've been struggling with my identity ever since Kadison was born and how this blog should look. Should it be like it was BEFORE K or should it be more mommy focused and how do either of them look?? Well I've had my second daughter and still asking those questions and also a ton more. My mind is always a constant race of questions about my job, my parenting, my skills as a wife, mom, sister, friend and all the other constant worries.

I guess what I'm trying to spit out here is that I'm still not sure but I do know I'm not ready to give this up. I do know that honesty will prevail and that being honest here and opening up in ways that I haven't before might be the key.

I think I may even try the blogging for 30 days starting Novemeber 1st. Who knows....maybe I'll get some questions answered along the way.

Posted by stef at October 26, 2008 09:27 PM