I knew I wanted to come here to write but again, the words weren't really flowing. I clicked here and the word "resisting" came to head... well then...I guess I'll be writing about that.
What am I resisting lately? Speaking the truth about so many things maybe?
The "Secret" has been on top of mind and dreams and thoughts so much lately ...ever since reading about it on a few blogs, hearing about it through friends, seeing it on Oprah and then finally, finally seeing the actual dvd. It's a bit scary to hear all that is possible and that we are actually in control of it all.
No more blaming others, no more playing the victim, no more ...no more...
It felt good to say I forgive you to people I held so much anger and hurt towards and for what? nothing but pain within me. It's a bit odd to say I forgive you out loud to actually yourself and have it mean something. Do you know what I mean? I didn't need to say it to the actual person I just needed to say it, feel it for myself. And it felt good and it felt needed to let it all go...
Now ... the part where I look toward the future and STOP living in the past. Stop blaming everything else around me for where I'm at. I'm actually in a very good place. I think I've been in this place of "I can't be happy" for such a long time I feel guilty for actually being happy, for succeeding, for getting what I want out of life. I feel guilt for the many people who don't have this. Why can't I be happy with what I have and what I've really worked for?
Well I stop it right now! I stop feeling the guilt and I am here to celebrate my life for all that it is!! DAMN IT!!
There is so much to be grateful for and so much to be "HAPPY" about. I'm going to try this on for awhile and see how it all goes...the down, depressed, whoa is me is taking a long sabbatical .....see ya!
Posted by stef at March 4, 2007 08:49 PMYey! Good for you, Stef! And having met you, I can say you are such a powerful shining star! x
Posted by: Alex at March 6, 2007 09:12 AMthe first time i watched the secret it brought up a lot of grief...i finally watched it a second time last week and now i feel like i'm in a much better place with it...i'm with you....i think i'm ready for the happy!
Posted by: la vie en rose at March 5, 2007 08:58 AMi loved it when you wrote about the secret in class.... "selling it on the street corner"... :)
there's so much you've said here that reminds me of zen buddhist philosophies. mainly the idea of appreciation and blamelessness. what as sweet way to live life... every moment, every breath, a miracle! i'm happy for you!
Posted by: snowsparkle at March 4, 2007 09:13 PM