not much

photo by tim

I'm sick with a sore throat and I can't really talk and I don't really have much to say but I miss you...I miss this...

We decorated our house this weekend for Christmas and now I'm finally in the mood ~ I'm getting excited even. It's Kadison's first Christmas and even though she's too young to really know what's going on it's still fun to see her amazement at the lights and tree and stockings hanging from our cardboard fireplace.

Every year I ponder what Christmas really means to me and I've never really come up with a good meaning; ok, well I haven't really thought too much about it until this year, now that I'm a parent and I have to teach another little human about it. I better get a grip on what it means to me. I'm not overly religious; (sorry mom) but I am spiritual. But is this what Christmas is? Spiritual? Or is it in fact religious? or is it all about the spending money on gifts and trying to get the perfect one? Is it all about family and friends? is it about giving and receiving or just giving? it makes my head spin...
I need to think about this some more and really come up with what it means for me and for us as a famiily. Obviously it means bringing us together as a family and creating family traditions with family and friends, it means giving to one another and to others that are less fortunate. But my dilemma with all of this is that I want to be doing this all year round; not just around this 1 holiday...

It leads me yo really thinking about my values, morals and what my life mission really is; I've just been going along with this life of mine with trying to keep a good life and trying to be a good person along the way but now that I have a child and I want to have some core beliefs to pass along to her. Again, much to think about...

It's a funny thing...writing out your thoughts ...because I had no idea this was where I was going...

Posted by stef at December 12, 2005 08:31 PM