It was brought to my attention recently that I wish my life away
I don't accept or revel in what I have
I wish for more
I recently bought wish books - yes, they are beautiful and I love and adore them but they are so beautiful I haven't been able to use them. I think; I'll give them away, but I can't do that either
It's funny how I often do this -I buy things that are beautiful and cool because they are beautiful and cool or because I want to support the person making them
It's my own vice about money - I spend it away without really thinking about it and I know that I can't afford to do it (this is a story for another time)
It's my own vice about wishes - I wish my life away without realizing how wonderful and beautiful I am
I look and see all the other beauty out there and I want to support it, I want to bring it closer, I want to breathe it in, I want to eat it up in hopes that it will seap into my soul and make me the essence of what they are creating
I have come to the conclusion that I have a lot of unused things around my place; be it books, journals, jewelry, clothes, art -yes, they all have beauty and so much love and hard work behind them and I do enjoy most of them... but is it in my best interest to have it all around me?
Is too much inspiration making me stuck? Do I hide behind everyone else's creativity?
It's something to really think about....
very good point!!! something i will ponder. scary to explore the feelings, but brave if we do, i think.
Posted by: kristen at October 13, 2005 07:27 PMI can relate...I made the realization some time ago that I have always had very creative, artistic friends and I've had a tendency to support and appreciate their artistry (because I do love them and I do love the beauty of it all) but in a way it's kept me from embracing and owning my own artistry and beauty. I've let them take the creative risks while I just lived vicariously through their creating. I don't know why it's such a struggle to view our own creations as fabulous...our own lives as fabulous...but I am trying to change this. As an outsider, someone who doesn't really know you but gets glimpses of your heart and soul on your blog, let me assure you of the beauty of your perspective and the creativity, originality, honesty, and intelligence behind your writing...that's why I keep coming back.
Posted by: la vie en rose at October 13, 2005 08:24 AM