why am i always afraid
afraid of what they'll think
of what they'll say
of what they'll see
afraid of the judgements
afraid i talk to much
talk to little
laugh too much
laugh too little
am i smart enough
do i say the intelligent thing
do i get what they're saying
the fear that consumes me sometimes is unbearable
i want to crawl into bed, curl up under the covers and not get out
why?
because i have to talk to someone, meet someone or connect?
if i lived like this all the time i wouldn't know you....
Posted by stef at August 22, 2005 09:35 PMwhere are you stef?!
you're not THAT fearful;)
i miss your words & pictures...
xo,
mati
I'm so glad that you don't curl up and hide and that instead you share your thoughts and feelings with us. Your honesty is encouraging and a reminder that we all go through it, we're all alike, none of us are alone, especially not if we put it out there and let God use it. Thank you for your words.
Posted by: Michelle at August 23, 2005 02:36 PMstef, stef...the last two days your incredibly beautiful photos and words have launched hope in my heart. just when the world seems at it's darkest, your offerings bring back the light. truly! i've come to depend on starting my day with a visit to your site. letting others see how you see the world is such a gift. thank you thank you! many of the brightest, most creative women i know share the same fears you expressed here. i wonder if fear is part of what spurs these women on to do ever more amazing stuff? maybe fear is a good edge from which to launch.
Posted by: mary at August 23, 2005 08:51 AM