I've been sitting with so many emotions lately but not really knowing how to write them down
Having Kadison has been the most beautiful event that has ever happened to me
We're so in love with her it's crazy
But then again I'm trying to do too much, trying to get things done around here, trying to be too much..
Knowing I can't, I shouldn't.
I need to just be
Be with her and cherish her and relish in these days and weeks that I get to spend every waking moment with her
But
But yes, there is always a but
I need to get outside, I need to go to the store by myself, walk around the block, get the fresh cool air
I did get outside and it was interesting how I saw things differently, saw things for the first time even though I've lived in this same neighborhood for 2+ years.
Why now?
I'm not sure, but it felt good to be out and really pay attention - I had to go slow, really look where I was going..not go to fast
maybe that's what it's all about - just not going to fast.
Enjoying what is here right now ...slowly..
This is what she is teaching me
Oh, Steffers!!
It's amazing how you feel like you need to be Superwoman after having a baby. Everyone tells you to relax and rest but you feel compelled to use your precious free time to get things done around the house.
Do you remember what a neat freak I was before Alison was born?? I know I struggled with getting things done when she was sleeping, but in the end I realized how really precious that time was and I wouldn't get it back. So, the house wasn't as clean and tidy but I really enjoyed just being in love with my little baby girl, knowing that it was okay to let things slide because I wasn't perfect and I didn't want to lose that time holding her.
Take the time you need for yourself and the two of you to really connect! She's going to grow up so quickly you won't believe it!!! :)
Hope you had a good weekend with your mom and Erin.
Love you,
Heather
Be gentle with yourself.
And breathe.
Hmmm..... that's what the baby does, too.
She knows.
Gently, gently, gently....
beautifully put. when can i meet the girl?
Posted by: mati at April 22, 2005 11:30 PMkadison is such a cutie...what an adjustment. of course you see the world differently now --- yours is very different and i can imagine much more beautiful and peaceful
i love the name-- i told a coworker and we went gaa over it!